ANN AKIN
Survivor Since:
Dec. 27, 2006
Home Town:
Lubbock
Age: 49
Occupation: Hospital Chaplain
Family: Husband - Lynn Akin. 4 daughters -  Brooke Allison, 17; Cassie Allison, 17; Sara Meeks, 25; Heather Cruger, 30. 1 son - Cameron Allison, 20. 1 son-in-law - Justin Meeks, 28; 2 grandchildren - Madison Cruger, 9, and Hunter Cruger, 4
Hobbies: Playing piano, singing, going to the symphony and musical theater, studying theology, reading, going plans with family, being involved in my children's activities, having fun evenings with friends.

'None of us are alone. We stand together.'

I have learned that only a few words, one moment, or a single situation can change our lives forever.  We never know what may come our way in any 24 hour period, or how drastically our perspective on life can change, until we are faced with its greatest challenges and greatest gifts.  Sometimes, those challenges and gifts come wrapped in very similar packaging, or even wrapped up together.  We never know, as we begin to open the package, what amazing gifts may be within.  It was just such a package that I began to unwrap in December, 2005.

     The last few years had been a blur of change and activity.  With the death of a 25 year marriage, several moves, and financial difficulties that are often found in the aftermath of divorce, I was well acquainted with stress and sadness. On the other end of the spectrum, I had three teen-agers who were all three cheerleaders at three different schools.  Cameron was in his Senior year at Lubbock High, Cassie was in 9th grade at O.L. Slaton Jr. High, and Brooke was in 8th grade at Irons Jr. High.  I had never been to so many athletic events (total) in my life before that year!  There was great joy and anticipation in the excitement of their activities, and in the anticipation of college for Cameron and high school for the girls.  There was both joy and stress in my own profession as a Chaplain at Covenant Health System and Associate Pastor at St. John's United Methodist Church, working with patients, families, and parishioners at some of the most difficult times in their lives.

     It was in the midst of this time of my life when I became acquainted with Lynn Akin.  Lynn was the principal at Irons during Brooke's time there.  We had spoken a few times about committees and cheerleaders.  Early one morning, however, I received a call from him about a tragedy that had just occurred.  One of my dearest friends and church colleagues, Kathryn Zetterstrom, who was also the choir director at Irons, had just been notified that her 33 year old husband, Pete, had collapsed in Vienna, Austria.  She had to make plans to leave immediately.  In the coming days, we were all saddened by the news of his death.  I was the piano accompanist for her choirs at Irons, and so began working with Lynn and other music faculty to insure that the Christmas Concert, then one week away, would still be performed.  This was an extremely difficult time for her students, as she was still in Austria.  They wanted to perform in her honor, and I saw Lynn masterfully work to make that happen.  I was very taken by his compassion and dedication to his students, as well as to this teacher and her family.

     Lynn and I became inseparable after that.  I loved to listen to him talk of his life experiences, and people with whom he had connected along the way.  His strong faith and love of theology allowed us to discuss very serious issues, stemming from Pete's death.  He had wonderful stories to share about his missionary work in India, his years of church ministry, his experiences as a municipal judge, and his career as a counselor and educator.  Most of all, he loved his family.  His daughters and grandchildren were the joy of his life.  His mother, sisters, nieces and nephews were all a vital part of his life.  His hero was his father, who had been dead for a number of years.  As I sat one evening, listening to him sing and play the guitar, I wondered what world this was in which I found myself.

     One year later, on December 5, 2006, Lynn asked me to marry him.  I was honored to accept.  With the blessings of all of our children, we began to think about when this would all take place.  There were a few things we wanted to work through before we set a date, one of them being that I would get to know his family better.  The events that followed were a much deeper bonding experience than we had bargained for!  The next week, I received the news that my routine mamogram was abnormal.  Lynn reminded me that his 43 year old sister, Angela, was a 10 year breast cancer survivor, and offered her as a resource.

     The next few weeks ran together in a fog of fear, anxiety, and questions.  Further tests revealed that I, too, was facing breast cancer.  I was 48.  Just a few words - "It's cancer" - had changed my life forever.  I would never again be able to look at life the same.  That night, Lynn and I walked into Angela's home, and she began to put the shattered pieces of my thoughts and fears back together.  She had done it.  She had faced cancer as a 33 year old single mother with two little boys.  She had gone through the surgeries, the chemo, the radiation, and the drugs.  She had been on the dark side of night.  She had called her mother, Laura, and her sister, Becky, to come hold her in the early morning hours before dawn.  She had experienced the nausea, and new the strangeness of losing her hair.  She had done it, and she would do it again through me.  What kind of grace was this?

     The love and support I would experience during the next few months still leaves me stunned.  My physicians, nurses, support staff, friends, colleagues, and family were amazing.  An example of this was my dear friend, Judy, who had lost her 27 year old son, Josh, to cancer, and was there immediately to offer support and prayers.  I never understood how she continued to place one foot in front of the other every day, and yet she was right back in the middle of it out of her love for me.  In the midst of this crisis called cancer, the voices of love were the loudest.  Angela, Lynn and I went to look at wigs a few days before chemo was to start.  We had fun despite the circumstances.  He bought me two.  The night before my first chemo treatment, I went to the Bijou to get my hair buzzed.  To my surprise, my dear friend, Petie, was there to shave her head as well.  There were other friends that came to be with me, including all the stylists in the salon.  The next day, my two daughters dyed strips of their hair pink, in solidarity of winning the fight against breast cancer.  Within a month, kids with pink strips in their hair could be seen all over town, in schools, organizations, and events.  I was overwhelmed, and was reminded yet again that I was not alone.  None of us are alone.  We stand together.

     Lynn never missed a second.  He was at every appointment, treatment, check-up, and surgery.  He and Angela would sit with me for hours during chemo, getting me ice, making me laugh, or just holding my hand.  I cannot begin to describe the pain I felt when I would hear women talk about their breast cancer, and how they had no support at home.  Some of their husbands would not talk about the disease at all, and some would refuse to even look at the scars where the cancer had been removed.  My grief was, and remains, unspeakable for these women.

     Lynn and I married on October 20, 2007, only four months after I finished all my treatment.  There is never a day that I don't begin with a prayer of thanksgiving.  My greatest joys have been born from my greatest fears.  I often wonder if this life I am living is just a dream, and I'll wake up and it will all be gone.  In reality, this life IS only a short span of time for all of us.  We cannot begin to know and understand this mystery.  What I can know is this:  I am a better person, wife, mother, friend, and minister because of the life lessons I have learned from having breast cancer.  I believe that God can redeem even the most horrible experiences, no matter what they are.  I believe that, even in brief moments, as we stand together and support each other, love heals our worst fears.

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