JAN MEARES
Survivor Since:  2003
Home Town: Roscoe
Age: 55 (but I feel like Iím 25!)
Occupation: Sales
Family: Mom Dorothy; nephews Bitsy and Brendon; Brother Wayne and his wife Brenda; cat Coco Chanel
Hobbies: Experiencing different places, enjoying people, gourmet cooking and outdoor adventures.

'A bump in the road'

Embracing my past so that I can make every moment in life count.....hi, my name is Jan Meares and I am a breast cancer survivor.

I was your neighbor.  I was your friend.  I worked hard.  I played harder.  I loved life.  I felt great.  I believed in God.  I thought I was very busy.  I always saw the glass half full.  I had no time to be sick!  So when my routine mammogram results came back inconclusive I was only a bit concerned.   It was suggested I have a sonogram - it then escalated to a biopsy.  I couldn't believe that this was happening to me!   I mean - I'm healthy how can this be? 

My family has always been very supportive especially during hard times so Mom went with me the day I was to get the biopsy results.  As we sat in the small little patient room waiting for the doctor we tried to make small talk about things that really didnít matter.  We nervously laughed as we waited for the news!  The doctor finally came in and started talking about the results.  It was as if I was floating in some fairy tale cloud not able to hear what the doctor was saying - then it began registering - malignant - cancer - mastectomy - as soon as possible.   What!!  This can not be happening!  I just sat there numb, not knowing what to say or what questions to even ask - just stunned!

Somehow Mom and I found our way out of the office, down the stairs, across the parking lot, and into the car.  Neither of us is sure how we even remembered where we parked that day.   We both just sat there staring out at the blue Lubbock sky.  I remember saying "It's not a death sentence!  I mean just because it's malignant doesn't mean Iím going to die!"  Mom then begin crying and  saying, "Why couldn't it be happening to me and not you!  Why couldn't it just be me?"  We seemed to just be frozen in that moment and we just sat there in the parking lot and cried. 

That afternoon I made a phone call to a friend and by 6 p.m. my house was filled with friends.  Some were nervous, some were scared, some cried and others said all the right things but the most important thing was that they were there! 

Surgery of any type means having a bunch of tests run and meeting with doctors.  Having a mastectomy is a bit different because it involves some different type of decisions that you just donít think about on a daily basis.  Questions came from all directions:  Will I be lopsided?  Will it be noticeable?  How will my clothes fit?  Will I still be attractive?  How will this affect my daily life?  Do I want reconstructive surgery?   If so, do I want to begin that procedure the day of the mastectomy or wait a couple of months?  What type of implant?  How will it be the first time I look at the scar?  What about the lymph nodes? What about the other breast?  When will all of this be over?

The night before surgery I tried to be really relaxed and calm visiting with family and friends.  But in the stillness of the night I worried.  In the dark I was scared so I talked to God.  My fears seem to subside.  I fell asleep. 

5 a.m. was the time to be at the hospital.  Mom and I arrived and two of my friends showed up.  My doctor had chosen not to tell me of this nuclear test of some sort I was going to have to go through before my surgery.  I really didn't understand it but it was to "serve as a roadmap to all the malignant areas in my chest."  It was one of those "whew - hold your breath 'cause it's not going to be fun tests!"  

After being pushed to the pre-surgery area friends just seemed to ìtag-teamî coming in and out!  I was no longer afraid and I felt that whatever happened I could deal with it.  The doctor would  perform the mastectomy and also take out 3 lymph nodes, test them, and decide what to do with the others on my left side based on those results. 

Since I never got to see the waiting area I can only tell this part of the story from what I've been told.  My mother, my great aunt, my uncle, two aunts, some cousins, and a multitude of friends very possibly took over the waiting room.  They not only answered the phone, took messages but pretty much were the entertainment.  It was a roomful of positive vibes!  Surgery went well and the lymph nodes were clear!

Unlike most women in this situation my hospital stay lasted 3 nights.  I was so thankful for that.  I really feel for women that have gone through the experience of the "drive through mastectomy."  I think that is terrible. 

Meals for Meares was the "gourmet meal program" that some friends so unselfishly set up for me.  It was totally appreciated and extremely helpful.  For about 2 weeks meals were brought for lunch and dinner - yes, I think I even gained weight!  It was similar to some cooking show where each meal was trying to top the last one.  Bam!

Two weeks after my mastectomy infection set in and I had to have an additional surgery.  That was a slight set back in the "getting ready to go back to work process."  I went back to work two weeks later but I was moving rather slowly.

Two months after surgery I not only joyously celebrated my birthday but I walked in the survivor lap at Relay for Life.  What a powerful and positive experience!  It was very moving!  At that moment I knew that I was now an "official member of a cause that was much bigger than I was."  I wanted to become involved, to get the word out --- Awareness is key and with awareness comes responsibility and action!! 

Cancer can happen to any of us - it knows no religion, no monetary status, no physical type, no race --- it happens to just ordinary hard-working good people.  Everyday I think about it and how it has affected me and the way I view things.  I think attitude is huge and so is staying positive. 

With all the support of family and friends I have participated in three Relay for Life events, two  Komen 3-Day events, Casting for Recovery, and this yearís Komen Walk with be my sixth.   Each event offers a tremendous dose of feeling empowered and promoting awareness. 

The Komen 3-Day was amazing!  It is 3 days of walking 20 miles per day and camping out in a tent at night.  Don't be fooled - it is tough!  It is a very emotional and empowering experience.  Just when I thought I couldn't take another step a woman passes me.  This woman had just finished her chemo the week before.  Everyone has a powerful story that needs to be told because everyone knows someone that has been affected by this disease!  The 3-Day gave me an opportunity to experience something bold.  Something I would have never done before breast cancer.  On the last turn of the last mile on the last day spectators, family, and friends lined the street to pay tribute to the walkers and the survivors.  We (the survivors) were the last to come down the street and with hands clasped, wearing pink t-shirts we silently bonded for this common cause.  The other walkers reverently took off their shoes and held them up in tribute as we walked past and finished the 60 mile walk.  What a feeling...

I was elated to be chosen to participate in a fly fishing weekend.  Casting for Recovery is a program that few people know about.  It provides education and support for women who have or have had breast cancer.   In Texas, 16 women are selected from across the state to go on a no-cost retreat to Joshua Creek Ranch near Comfort, Texas.  It was a very relaxing weekend that provided time for bonding with other survivors, listening to fresh ideas, sharing experiences and attitudes about breast cancer, and learning new skills.  It allowed the other women and me to feel empowered to do something we had never done before - to learn a new skill - to push ourselves and to have the satisfaction that we are survivors - we can do anything!  Nothing is impossible!  The weekend focuses on "learning to fly fish."  I mean putting on the waders, getting in the water, practicing the cast, and tying the fly!  What a wonderfully unique experience.  I loved it!  I have now been fly fishing several other times. 

I was so lucky because my treatment didn't involve radiation or chemo since I had the mastectomy and clear lymph nodes.  I did have to see the doctor very often, keep close tabs on different tests, have a mammogram on my other breast every time I turned around, and take a pill every day for five years. 

What a journey my life has been and it isn't even close to over!  I would not have chosen to have breast cancer but powerful things can come from what we go through.   For me being positive with a good attitude has been very important! 

Having your family and friends be there and support you - priceless!

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