MARGIE OLIVAREZ
Survivor Since:
April 11, 2007
Home Town:
Lubbock
Age: 40
Occupation: AT&T CS Ops Specialist, National Forecasting Team
Family: Husband - Tony Olivarez for 23 years; Son Michael, 22; Daughter Soila, 16.
Hobbies: Volunteering, collecting coins, fishing, camping and tailgating at Tech football games.

"Today I am Strong!"

'It was like I was recharged and ready for the challenge'

For the past 22 years for my birthday, I get my annual physical checkup.  I was doing something that our previous generations didnít do - I was being proactive about a good healthy life and receiving routine and preventive care. I had health insurance and went to a regular doctor that was keeping up with my overall health.  It is reported that one out of every three Hispanics/Latinas does not have health insurance and that in our culture women are used to putting their families ahead and do not seek medical assistance if they are experiencing health problems.  In getting my annual checkup, I knew I was ahead of the game, but what I didnít know is what was I to do when the checkup had a negative result. 

During the month of February 2007 while taking a shower I remember thinking about all the things I had to do as we prepared for our annual ski trip. It's a daily routine that all career women find themselves in - always preparing, always organizing, utilizing every second of the day. I dropped the soap bar.  Sticky fingers I thought, as I reached down to pick up the bar. I started where I left off on the left side under my armpit. As I brushed against my skin I felt a lump. I remember hearing myself saying, did I just feel what I think I felt?  I stood straight up and tried it again - this time if I brushed right by it you couldn't feel anything but I dug around and there it was - a lump that is not suppose to be there. My yearly appointment was in a couple of weeks, and it probably wouldn't be until then that I would be able to see the doctor anyway. I will wait and for the next couple of weeks I lived my busy life, going to work, attending meetings and enjoyed our family ski trip. Life was good, work was great, family happy - what else could I want. What I didn't know was that from this day forward this lump would impact my life.

During my physical examination, I told my doctor about the lump I found, and as she examined my breast, she also felt it. I remember her saying itís probably a cyst, but we will schedule a mammogram to confirm. I had never had a mammogram as those are usually recommended when you turn 40 or if you have history of breast cancer in your family - neither one applied to me. On April 3rd I went in for the mammogram and began to see my life flash before me.  The mammogram results needed more confirmation, so an ultrasound was scheduled and I was scheduled to see my regular doctor again the same day in her office. I knew something was not right, to get an appointment scheduled on the same day when you normally have to wait a couple of weeks. This must be an emergency. My fears were confirmed ñ this lump was not to be ignored.

I met with a surgeon on April 10th and she explained to me the need for a biopsy, to test the lump and see if it was cancerous.  I remember sitting in front of the x-rays listening to her telling me that from her experienced in looking at the x-rays, the shape of my lump was cancerous.  How could one tell that from that black and white photo in front of me? Where could she see it? I didn't see it and she lost me when she said cancer. I remember telling myself I don't have time for this, what am I supposed to do, sit down and cry?  I don't think so - I was raised to face things head on and thatís what Iím going to do - not sure how, but I will, I told myself, and then I began listening to the surgeon's voice again. Did you come by yourself, you sure do look calm, are you sure you donít have any questions?  Where do I start?  Let's get the biopsy done, see what the tests say.  I replied "Letís do what we need to do."

On April 10, accompanied by my husband and mom, I had the biopsy done. The procedure wasnít that bad. The nurse kept my mind occupied as we talked about our sons and their dreams of becoming a famous musician. I was instructed not to lift anything heavy, so my mother took my purse and we headed off to our women's meeting.  I was looking forward to the meeting as we were going to promote awareness for heart disease, something very personal to me after my mother had an angioplasty procedure a couple of years ago.  I jokingly told my mom here I am promoting red where I should be promoting pink.  My mom chuckled but I know she didnít think it was funny.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. Denis Waitley

I'm known to respond to the question "do you every slow down?" with the answer "When I die I will rest."  But on April 11th as I drove home with my daughter and another Girl Scout member, my phone rang. On the other end was my surgeon, who called to tell me that my biopsy confirmed that I had breast cancer.  Again, I didn't know what to say, but most importantly I was crossing the intersection of 4th and University, one of the busiest intersections for automobile accidents.  My vision became blurred as my eyes began to water and my throat knotted up as I kept a straight face and continued to hear the surgeon talk about the other procedures that needed to be done to make sure that the cancer had not spread as it was Stage III.  Okay I said and hung up the phone.  Although I had just received the most scariest news of my life, I couldn't let this awful negative event impact the most precious milestone of my Girl Scout troop - you see for over two years the girls had worked on their Silver Award and today they were having their exit interview.  A part of me wanted to rush home, curl up and cry and the other part knew that today was a special day and I needed to be there for the girls as they too were experiencing a very stressful moment as they prepared for the interview.

When I arrived home, I told my husband "the tests say I have cancer." As I began to cry, he held me tight and said "we will get through this, you are strong - nothing beats you."  We had no idea what we were about to face but knew that we would be strong and that we would overcome the challenge.  I called my mom and told her real quick the results. She didn't understand how, how could I have cancer, it does not run in our family and she knew I took care of myself.  I didn't know what was going to be more difficult, facing the cancer or not being able to do everything I enjoy doing and telling everyone that I had cancer.  I now had 10 minutes to put my feelings aside and make sure that the girls had everything they needed for their interview. I remember telling God,  "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this, but give me the strength and I am ready." 

There is nothing the body suffers that the soul may not profit by. George Meredith

After the girls' successful interview and on my way home, I had to cancel a banquet meeting the following day. There was no way at this time that I could face my friends.  The word spread like wild fire. I told my troop on April 14 and on Sunday, April 15, I had family and friends at my house gathering for group prayer. I was presented with a prayer blanket and the Miraculous Medal which reads, "O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to you."  The Miraculous Medal was struck when the Virgin Mary appeared to St. Catherine Laboure in Paris, France. The power of prayer and our Blessed Virgin Mary is what I give credit to my miraculous healing and the strength and courage I had to face cancer. The next couple of days many tests were scheduled - MRI, ultrasounds, bone scans and blood work - if there was anything else wrong with me, this would be time they would find it. Good news was that nothing else was found. April 19th the surgeon talks about options, lumpectomy or mastectomy followed by chemotherapy and radiation - the decision of a lifetime. What should I do?  I knew I did not want to go through any of this, but if I had too, I didn't want to have to go through it again.  Would I opt for double mastectomy? Did I really know what I was about to face?  No but I had faith, hope and the love of my family and that was all the ammunition I needed.  My surgery was scheduled for April 26th but prior to my surgery, on April 22, my co-workers and friends came over for a get-together and a day to show me their support.  It was like I recharged and was ready for the challenge.

April 26th I had surgery. I didn't have the double mastectomy as discussed, but had a port implanted in my arm. The surgeon decided to do chemo first and then surgery. The next day I visited with the oncologist, and he shared with us the statistics of my life expectancy, saying without chemo we were looking at five years or less.  Being the super woman that I am, I told him that I had so many things to do, places to visit and people to change that I wanted to start chemo now!  The oncologist looked at me like I was crazy but said he would see if they could schedule me in. We started chemo that afternoon.   I didn't know what I was getting into but knew that if chemo was going to help me battle this tumor, then we would move forward.  The thought of this deadly drug in my system destroying both good and bad cells was scary, but I had my faith and I knew that God would only put in front of me what I could handle.  I sat in the chair with my prayer blanket and the Miraculous Medal reciting the Hail Mary.  I would have chemo (Abraxane) every Friday afternoon for the next 12 weeks.  I elected Friday afternoon so I could continue to work and would have the weekend to recuperate by Monday.  Chemo was very hard both mentally and physically, but my determination and will to continue allowed me to mentally be fit for this challenge.

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. Helen Keller

One the most mental sufferings I would say I experienced was that of the side effects of losing your hair. No matter how much I read and tried to prepare for this part, the suffering I encountered at this time was both mental and physical.  I'll never forget how scared I was as I stood in the shower afraid to touch my hair, because with every stroke I made, I could feel the strands detaching from my scalp and falling to the bottom of the shower. Looking down at the drain, I would see it covered with hair, just like you see on the floor during your visit to your hairstylist.  It's what is on the inside that counts, I would tell myself, so why was it such a scary thought? To lose your identity? This went on for a couple of days until I took the scissors to my own hair - I would win this battle. I put together my ammunition by purchasing some scarves, head pieces and a wig ñ this would be my shield for the upcoming months.  Being involved in the community, I was fortunate to have a friend who owns a wig store and who made this process as smooth as it could be, along with receiving some encouraging words. My wig selection was great, as many of my family and friends commented on my new hair cut. My own son didnít even realized that it was wig until I told him. 

After 12 weeks of Abraxane, I began the second part of chemo on July 20. I would now receive chemo every three weeks, but would now be receiving three chemos at once (FEC100).  I was informed that I would begin feeling more tired and would be more vulnerable to getting sick as my immune system would be very low.  My "bring it on" attitude again got me through the next weeks, and the flexibility of working from home allowed me stay away from germs.

God gives you hope in him even through your suffering. We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint you because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which he has given. Romans 5:3

Some patients find it hard to be positive about anything while their life is turned upside down, but the positive outlook I took from chemo gave me strength.  Positive things such as the fact that my legs were smooth, I did not have to shave or shampoo/condition my hair, my shower time was cut down to 5-7 minutes from my regular 20.  I saved money and energy, so I was contributing to saving the earth and our finances.  I also found myself asking "Does It Tire you or Inspire You?"  If it tired me, I quit doing it; if it inspires me then I will continue.  As much as I did not want to quit working, I finally went on disability on September 4th. The new meds and long hours were tiring me, and I needed all my energy to fight the chemo drugs now that my body was becoming weak.

September 26th, I visited with the surgeon again to go over what procedure I would do. The chemo did its job - it shrunk the tumor - but we needed to make sure that everything was removed.  Again the decision of a double mastectomy was my first choice as I did not want to go through this again.  Before surgery, I did a genetic test to find out if I carry a known gene for cancer. This would allow us to take preventive measures in our family, especially for my daughter; she could get tested to see if she too would have to face cancer. Good news, I do not carry a gene for breast cancer - my diagnosis is one of those without explanation. 

On October 1st I was so tired that my mind and body were moving very slow. I felt as though I was in a tunnel and everything was muffled. This was the first time I felt this way and after visiting the doctor, I learned that my blood count was very low and I had to get a blood transfusion. Receiving blood transfusions is normal to some cancer patients, but for me this was new and I was not very happy about it. I again had been very blessed that I only had to do this once and not weekly like some patients.  I am very thankful for those who donate blood.

November 15th I had surgery. I knew going in that this would be a new beginning and that when I awoke I would look differently. What I didnít know is how much pain I was going to be in. The surgery was very painful, but I was determined and very appreciative for my high tolerance of pain.  Again the power of prayer and my network of friends helped me get through this period. While in the hospital, my room began to look like a flower shop. I had fresh flowers, plants, balloons and cookie bouquets from all the organizations I volunteer for and many, many cards from individuals that I have known for a long time, short time and even some from individuals that I have never met but heard about me through one of their family and friends.  The thought that my experience with breast cancer had touched so many lives empowered me to get well quickly so that I can continue making a difference in our community.  If anyone would ever ask me what to do when you are diagnosed with breast cancer, I would say continue living life to the fullest, donít stop living, do what inspires you and place everything into Godís hands.

Everyone's prayers carried me through the pain and the visual sight of seeing stitches across my chest and tubes coming out my sides.   In addition, to having a double mastectomy, I decided to go with the breast reconstruction, therefore expanders were placed during the surgery.  On December 5th I began the first procedure of the reconstruction, which is stretching out the skin by filling the expanders.  I would get the expanders filled every week, and every week the pain was worse and worse as my skin was stretched.  We were running against time, as I would start radiation on January 21st and we would need to get the skin stretched prior to radiation. To describe the pain would be to say that someone is pulling your muscles outward like taffy right before it finally breaks.

Radiation was everyday for six weeks. The six weeks went by quickly, and my skin did not get irritated until the last week of radiation.  It looked like a very bad sunburned, and I was able to sooth the irritation with prescribed cream.  The irritation and peeling lasted for about two weeks.  I have had follow-up appointments with my oncologist, surgeon and radiologists and everything looks good ñ Iím cancer free! I am back at work, driving again and enjoying life!

On July 12th in Paris, France I visited the chapel where the Virgin Mary appeared to St. Catherine Laboure and instructed her to strike the medal and where I gave my thanks for the guidance and strength that helped me through cancer. I also was able to receive communion, as mass started five minutes after we arrived, we being my Girl Scout troop and I.

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